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Your Biggest Taboo

29. October 2012 by Lorena 0 Comments

Pretty much the only time you see references to Russian dating online, it’s a complaint or a joke. Thousands of men become members of Russian dating sites, but they rarely talk to friends or family about this choice. Most gentlemen would admit to purchasing kinky pornography than they are to pursuing a romantic relationship on a Russian dating site. Why is that?


People don’t understand what international dating is.

The “mail order bride” terms that get attached to Russian dating are unsavory, and they turn a lot of people off. But, no one seems to be able to talk about Russian dating without that label. Fox News Radio recently did an overwhelmingly positive story about international dating, and it still had “Mail Order Bride” in the headline. The phrase “mail order bride” also has no basis in reality. No one on a Russian dating site is buying a bride. Russian ladies would never stand for it. They are fierce-minded women, and would take great exception to the idea that the gentlemen who courted them were attempting to purchase them, or that they were available to be bought.


The only stories you hear on the news are the bad ones.

And, those negative stories, no matter how rare or unusual the occurrences in them are, become the dominant narrative. It’s the Summer of Sharks phenomenon. Remember that year when shark attacks were all over the news? That was also a year with far fewer shark attacks than average. But, the stories we hear are what we believe to be true and prevalent. Sadly, no amount of statistics, no matter how accurately they tell the tale, carries the weight of a personal anecdote.


People are far more likely to tune into TV news or pick up a magazine to read a story about something awful happening. Every now and then, major papers will run a below the fold human interest bit about a happy couple that found each other despite thousands of miles of distance. But, you’re more likely to read about the relationships that didn’t work. So, despite the thousands of couples who find love on Russian dating sites, people’s perception is of the worst possible scenario, instead of the far more likely happy one.


It’s a self-perpetuating cycle.

Someone makes a joke about Russian dating, which makes someone else feel that they can’t admit to being on a Russian dating site. This, in turn, leads to no one ever hearing the success stories. And that puts us right back at the start, with the nasty mail order bride jokes, because that’s the only narrative around.


Nothing changes until someone changes it.

People won’t feel comfortable talking about using international dating sites until people start talking about it. Happy couples need to unapologetically talk about how they met.


International dating is, at this moment, at the same place that online dating in general was about five years ago. Even though people were doing it, nobody wanted to talk about it. Computers were still thought of as a sort on niche thing that only awkward weirdoes used for socializing, right? But now, only China has more internet users than the US, and half of all Americans say that they’ve used an online dating site. Dating online is downright normal.


Everyone deserves a chance at happiness. You don’t need to be embarrassed about looking wherever necessary to find the kind of romantic relationship that you want. If you are smart and resourceful enough to increase your chances by looking abroad, you are making a choice that is right for you.