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The Problems with Pick-Up Culture

6. November 2012 by Lorena 0 Comments

You want to meet someone; that is, after all, why you are here. And, if you are like other gentlemen, there’s a chance that you read a couple books or even attended a seminar by seduction or pick-up experts. However, most gentlemen who explore the so-called “seduction community” wind up with nothing to show for it but a wallet that’s a bit lighter from bar bills and workshop fees. A few of the reasons that seduction doesn’t work:

 

It relies on unnatural behaviors.

Pros like Mystery and Style advise their students to go in for flashy clothing. But, are you really comfortable going out in public in a feather boa? Other pick-up behaviors include learning magic tricks, and memorizing jokey openers for that “cocky and funny” vibe.

 

The problem is, if you are just repeating lines and behaviors that someone has taught you, you aren’t really being yourself. Even if it was affective – and, for a lot of guys, it’s not – it’s artificial and hollow. While it is probably enough to net a one night stand or two, it’s no way to build a relationship.

 

PUA is pick-up oriented.

It says so right in the title. It’s about picking women up. It will not give you the tools to find an honest, quality lady to have a relationship. It is not a system created with the goals of marriage and family in mind. For those who do not seek more than transient companionship, PUA is probably good enough. However, for gentlemen who are looking for a lifelong commitment, the tools of the seduction community are inadequate.

 

It’s based on disrespectful premises.

Gentlemen who are not part of the seduction tribe are referred to as “betas,” “omegas,” and “frustrated chumps.” PUA experts use dense jargon to isolate students and make PUA seem like some sort of exclusive club. And, techniques like “negging” are unkind and more likely to get you a slap than a girlfriend. There is a good deal of hostility toward both gentlemen who do not use PUA systems and the ladies that pick up artists view as prey. This sort of negativity cannot help but eventually pervade your entire world-view, and make it that much harder to find a meaningful connection.

 

Photo: conrados

There’s a better way.

Instead of fighting to be the alpha male of a glutted local dating market, why not go where you are rare and in demand? Rather than use tools that create only superficial connection, why not approach ladies who are interested with deeper, more significant qualities in a mate? Russian and Ukrainian ladies are more likely to be seriously marriage-minded and family-oriented. If you are tired of local dating games, hackneyed “techniques” and superficial encounters, why not join now, and find a beautiful Russian lady who is perfect for you.